How are we today?

 

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How’s Jay?

Well here we go once again with most likely way more than anyone is interested in but I’ve learned that there are a few very kind people who follow this blog or maybe even stumble into these rants who find a laugh or a tear or a nugget of wisdom or surprise in these disjointed thoughts and take the energy and time to send me an email or text or post a comment thanking me so here goes and yes I didn’t get out of bed this morning until six AM which is waaaaaaay later than the 3:30 or 4:00 hour that usually sees me holding the handrail very carefully as I step slowly downstairs and plop myself in front of the computer to begin my day and guess what I’m often already dressed for the day because of the wonder of sleepin jeans and sleepin simms flannel cold weather shirts which my son David tells me could be the next big money making venture across the globe for men of my age who decline to wear stained grey sweat shirts and similarly stained grey sweatshirts but alternatively choose unstained levi’s and flannel shirts to wear virtually 24/7 however one big as far as I can tell is that all of us don’t need to purchase specialty garments labeled as sleepin’ jeans because we are perfectly comfortable already right now and have been for months or years with sleeping in our regular jeans and flannel shirts so why on earth should we want to go out and spend our rapidly shrinking cash reserves on clothes we already own and yes if you happen to be like me among the retired work force who are still working because health insurance costs so dang much and inflation although is small always always out paces cost of living ha ha ha ha retirement funds so what the heck we’ll just keep right on sleeping in the jeans and flannel shirts we already own but excuse me for goin’ on so long about this I did want to mention that I finally yes after more than a year of procrastination published the SECOND EDITION of Book of Revelation the Ultimate Irreverent Fly Fishing Glossary and oops I may have broken protocol by using capital letters for the book but ain’t going back to correct this breech now anyway the second edition includes several hundred new definitions and terms, and new original sketches and a very nice foreword by Matthew Supinski and low and behold I by chance of the universe I recently talked to a formerly complete stranger who lives in California and learned that he not only enjoys the glossary himself but so much so that he has purchased several of these to serve as gifts for his fishing friends and of course this made me smile a very big smile because for one the glossary is a book that I worked on for YEARS and of which I am very pleased that I took the time and effort and more and more realize that there is NOTHING like it out there in the book-o-sphere even remotely like it and by this I mean that there are no similar books on the commercial market that capture the lunacy of what it means to be an angler and in particular a fly fisher and honestly ever time I pick this book up and flip through the pages I can’t help but wonder just who the hell wrote it because my ability to free associate in an outrageously silly manner seems so greatly diminished these days that I sincerely doubt that I would be able to persevere and create the content to define over fifteen hundred words and phrases related to fishing and fly fishing and then sketch nearly five hundred accompanying illustrations for the dang book and on my best days maybe I could but a close examination of the content tells me that this was a once in a lifetime literary ha ha accomplishment for this guy and ya know this may be true for most of the books I’ve written with one exception the two intruder fly books as a case when the second book built on the first and actually carried a more sophisticated philosophy and content and technique and fly recipes than the first and darn it at times I wonder if I should dump intruder essentials and only keep advanced intruder strategies on the bookshelf but hell I’ll just let them both live for now at least and since I seem to be on the topic of books yes work on salmon fisher’s journal is proceeding very very well but very very much slower than I had hoped or predicted or even suggested but damn it I am not about to sacrifice quality of the final product for meeting an arbitrary time table so what has taken so darn long well for one thing the content has been edited and condensed and critiqued and reworked again and again and again until I am finally satisfied at least to the extent that means I’m exhausted with the revisions and ready to let it go but of course it will receive a final proof at the bitter end and there will be a few pages that will receive a little more agonizing retrospection and the changing of a few words to get the message as close to right as I’m able and we are in the process of laying photo images into the design now and there will be the usual number of switch outs or substitutions and there are still flies that have not been photographed yet and whoa the process of photographing flies is not nearly as straight forward as anyone would ever imagine until the fateful day when said anyone person actually tries to photograph flies especially chinook flies and finds out that their purple, pink and blue comets look great digitally but their hot orange and fluorescent chartreuse comets are so washed out as to be a complete mess and fluorescent flame red chenille almost always blurs out because it is too bright but oh well my own photography leaves much to be desired but my friend scott is a professional and is graciously donating his time and expertise to produce really great fly photo images thank goodness so yes the book is on track and will be first cabin when it is printed but I really cannot imagine that this will occur in less than three months but I’m not about to budge on quality oh oh have I said this already oh well that’s just how it is and I will add that my heart is still heavy over the fact that one of my friends or should I say one of the men who I have and still want to consider a friend and so forth became so distraught that they wrote an anonymous letter that in thinly veiled terms threatened me and lisa and my family with what could only be interpreted with harm unless I did NOT publish salmon fisher’s journal and I can tell you redacted so here’s the deal I wrote some stuff about how I felt about the letter and then flat out decided to delete it because who cares anyway and I hope it was one of my friends who suffers from severe mood swings when they have consumed too much mood altering substance(s) and transforms from a genuine friend into a tortured wounded very alone individual who lashes out in his pain but I may carry my own sadness over this incident to my grave unless the man has the courage to come to me and tell me they did it and then I’d probably say I understand and thank you and let’s get on with our lives and let the incident lay on the trash heap of salmon paranoia and not allow it to taint the good parts of our relationship OK enough of that oh yes I had two Saturday evenings in the ER and was in the hospital for three days last week and then redacted but now I am home now with my family and appreciate seeing how each day goes and redacted blah blah blah and oh yes where winter steelhead fishing is concerned this was close to a no-show with me fishing maybe 6 or 7 days swinging flies on the upper nescucca and trask and earning several pulls but if you fish for steelhead you know exactly what I mean by use of the term pull and understand that it could have been a forty-pounder or a twelve inch cutthroat so  I’ll just say that I was honored to be able to get out and wade and climb up and down the steep river banks and not break a leg or have my heart seize up and make a few casts and have an overall satisfying several days even without doing any steelhead catching and so I’ll now report that I just returned from my usual hour long walk at the gym on the treadmill at 2.2 miles per hour and feel just fine so there you have it and here I go into the day and I think I wanted to say something about being so very grateful for the genuine friendship that some very ordinary and very at the same time exceptional people have extended to me and when I say friendship I realize that this word is conditional and much misunderstood and overused and one example is Facebook an environment where people can have thousands or tens or hundreds of thousands of friends and followers and likes and all that crap but in reality how many genuine authentic friends can any of us ordinary humans have and nurture at one time anyway well in my way of thinking the actual number may be as small as two dozen or less than a dozen or ever less than a half-dozen at any one time of course I do have some friends who I do consider genuine friends who I may not see for years at a time and we still do have I think a real bond that is independent of the fact that we have been apart for so long and we are able to pick right up where we left off but on the other hand and again in my own particular case I probably interact on a regular basis with less than ten people at any given time and these of course on a practical basis receive the vast majority of my personal energy and I do wish I had more of this magic energy and time to spread around further but I do not and so there it is some of the people I do consider my friends have expressed on one hand that they felt like I didn’t value them and maybe on the other hand they wondered if I was mad or angry or disappointed with something they did or said and if you think I’m kidding I’m not there are two friends who told me they thought I was angry at them for some reason or another because they had not heard from me but the truth was that I was just busy and that was the only thing going on and I thanked them for telling me so I could assure them that I was not at all anything but neglectful and then there are two of my friends who I still consider friends who have come very close to washing their hands of me because I do not see them very often but again I’ve only got just so much energy to go around and well I will likely call or text one of them today and see if we can go get coffee soon and hope for the best so let’s move on and allow me please to say that I really enjoy tying silly old Clousers because you can tie them big and small dull and bright flashy and not and in various styles and with various eyes and these darn flies are amazingly effective and I’m still wondering if I might try to get to baja this year and I would love to get up to the dean but probably won’t on either account and or oh my goodness I may be able to go to a fantastic place in 2019 to support the fly fishing art and do a little fishing also and I sure hope it actually happens but of course we will need to wait and see and for the moment I need to post some videos including a bloopers video and I have needed to post to my blog and this is not easy to do what I’m doing right here but in some respects I owe it to anyone who is crazy enough to read it and owe it to myself too and at this moment I cannot even remember what the heck I’ve talked about oh by the way remember our dear kitty Rollo died suddenly around last November and we were all really shook up by that and especially his surviving litter mate Boomer but as time went on we decided to bring a young cat into our home and after several months we are all enjoying each other’s company and all of a sudden I want to say that I have met a small number of the nicest kindest most supportive people on Facebook which was a surprise but a nice surprise and I am grateful to each of these people and I am sick of politics and people and gosh almighty why can’t people be kind to each other and conduct ourselves in constructive ways that improve the quality of life of people we interact with each day well I just don’t get it but I do know that every time I am courteous to a stranger I meet in the course of my daily. routine that person feels just a little happier if only for a few seconds and that is something good that if everyone did this all day every day would probably make the world a better place and even though what I just said probably sounds silly and shallow but maybe we should all consider if it is true and then do it and so I started with how’s jay but really the whole point of this rant is to say that I’m fine and I hope that everyone who reads this and everyone they know and everyone who knows the people they know are doing fine as well because lordy life can be short and we leave so much undone that we really should have done and wanted to do but just didn’t get around to it all and if I could do one thing it would be not to wish you a big fish today—but to wish you a little joy and a little happiness and a little love today and I’ve come to the end of what I can bear to write this morning and will now bid you a g’day as my wonderful beautiful gentle mother Dulcie would have said if she were here.

Jay Nicholas, 17 April 2018

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