Recapping 2011, what a summer it was – August 22, 2011




Well the summer of 2011 has been a doozy yes indeed and may I please insert that if you are expecting  polished essay here then you  might as well just stop right here rather than get seventeen minutes into this and start thinking oh my the poor fellow has really lost it because this is reading like a diatribe of a lunatic and geeeze it is too bad that Jay finally lost it completely but we sure saw it coming and I hope that Lisa and Jackson are going to be OK with him all locked up and on medication all the time and wow maybe even if it is really sad Lisa will have to sell off all of Jay’s fishing gear and fly tying materials and boats and so on and such forth but you might as well forget it because this is just part of my normal everyday craziness and nothing at all out of the ordinary so anyway you are not going to get to buy all of my gear off craigslist or at a garage sale but you are  welcome to read on especially if you are stuck in a cubicle you poor wretch but i totally sympathize with you because i did the same thing for over forty years in one form or another and it put food on the table and if you have a job and are able to scam the time to read this and i dearly hope get a laugh or a tear or two on the Man’s dime then more power to you brothers and sisters and oh where was i  well let me just take off here and say that i do not mean sleepy but like wild really it has been wilder than wild and like wow where has the time gone and yes I have totally neglected my own blog right here in fishingwithjay but this has the logical justification as being as follows like first of all what should happen at the very end of March I got laid off and by the way let’s not make more of any of what follows than any of this drivel deserves yes it the layoff that is was couched as a sabbatical and totally not pejorative  and based entirely on when the funding entity delays a funding decision it is just unavoidable in dire economic times but still wow it really hurt and even though I knew what was what you know it was odd that most people who learned about me being laid off were really concerned because there is a pervasive image associated with being laid off that it difficult if not impossible to shake like were you obsolete or did they retain someone else over you and will you ever be able to get a job again in this day and will you have to go into foreclosure and you sure are not suited to get employment as a barista and it is almost like telling people that you have cancer and it doesn’t really matter what kind of cancer or what your prognosis is the mere word cancer is a very emotion laden word and laid off is also and I could have used a different word but hey when the man sits you down and says your position is being terminated and you have layoff rights including unemployment insurance it sure seems like a lay off and I am becoming more and more dissatisfied with choosing my words so very carefully as to avoid any discomfort and I still have to do that on many occasions that where my life was concerned I decided to call it what it was and the day I got laid off our family had to make the live or die decision about our old and very loved cat Tommy and he had being going downhill for about 3 months and we decided it was the time to let him go and the vet came to our home and first that morning I had driven to Portland to get the laid off sit down but Lisa called me when I arrived and was still in my car in the parking lot at the office and she was in tears and told me I had to get home and so I turned the key and drove home and the vet came and checked Tommy out and we had him put down now isn’t that an interesting way to say that the vet put Tommy to sleep and there I go because it is so very difficult to say that we ended his life with an injection and even that is skirting the issue and I just still see him there on the kitchen counter with his head drooping and all of us stroking him and crying and he just gradually went to sleep and died with us giving him lovies and shoot I am sitting here with tears streaming down my face and that was hard but we know it was the right thing to do and I so wish that someone could make the same decision for me when the time comes because I sure do not want to linger and decline like my mom did to the point where I don’t know who I am or who my family is and have to be fed and bathed and get all scrunched into a ball and just lay there all day and night and I would rather die of a heart attack or drown or have a friend hit me on the back of the head with a rock but anyway that was a tough few days but then I went to work the very next week half time as a temp without benefits but doing something that is dear to my fish lovin’ heart and the little bit of cash does help and then I upped the time I have been working with the Caddis Fly Shop and I am so lucky to be able to work with Chris Daughters and then naturally I started going fishing for springers and this has been the best springer season that I personally myself have ever in a lifetime as if that was not already obvious experienced and the fish were spectacular and the rivers were awesome and yes virtually all of the springers I caught were hatchery fish and yes it would have been wonderful if there had been a ton of wild chinook choking the rivers but alas there just are not so I just fished and had a wonderful time and brought home a few salmon from my dear friend Andy and for my son David and his wife Heather and Heather’s folks and so the great gift of nourishment of the soul and body was possible this season and I juggled family and we got two new kittens from the Humane Society and at first we were just going through the motions after Tommy’s passing and you know I really mean death but from the first day we brought Boomer and Rollo home they are brothers by the way we fell in love with them and Jackson was sick with some sort of flu and then I was sick for a week and duh after all that had gone on and we just sort of holed up in the bedroom with me and Lisa and Jackson and Boomer and Rollo and we watched Sci Fi movies and ate popcorn and  had root-beer floats and loved those two little kittens and took our time as a family to heal up and it was a wonderful time for all of us to spend together with no work and nothing that we had to do and a little BattleStar Galactica and Stargate, and Stargate Atlantis and Stargate Universe and explaining to our young son what some of the bad words mean and how to use them in propper context and how it is not appropriate for children or young persons or even adults to use such words that are considered foul in many social settings and remembering the drunk young man at the Brad Paisley concert who was showing off last summer by loud and repeated use of the F word and how silly he sounded but how very wonderful he must have thought he was and that reminds me that one day I was fishing and I got a comment on an old blog post about respecting hatchery steelhead and some probably unhappy person commented very harshly that my post had not addressed the issue of farmed steelhead and then he closed the comment by telling me to go F#@&* myself and I laughed right out loud and read the comment to several friends nearby and we noted that he had really missed the whole point of the post and was probably a tortured soul and then I deleted the comment into the trash so there you pooh brain dip stick and I would like you to know that yours was the most mean spirited comment I have ever received but oh yes by the way I continue to get comments on the ages old post that I did when the Caddis Fly received a huge shipment of rooster saddle patches and Chris and I were afraid that they would take about three years to sell and guess what we were really stupid now there is a word that I counsel my young son Jackson to not over use because stupid is harsh and somewhat mean spirited so Chris and I were not really stupid but indeed we were severely under informed because the entire shipment of rooster saddles sold out in about seventeen seconds and three days later the patches Chris sold for fifty bucks were on ebay for over four hundred bucks and oh well, that is all water under the bridge and have any of you looked at current fly tying materials catalogs either paper or online and looked for rooster saddle patches ha ha ha ha ha ha because they do not exist as far as we can tell especially in natural or dyed grizzly and now we learn to live with rooster capes and yes I avoid use of the perfectly natural and civil term for a male rooster that starts with the letter C and ends with the letter  K because oh my I do not want this website showing in google search results with other websites where folks are searching for that kind of stuff and it is silly but just one or two words can put this blog or any blog for that matter on a search page where I just do not want to be and if you know what I mean then fine but if you don’t then you are lucky and let’s go on and well finally I got out on the ocean this summer with Jack and John Harrell in their Dory launched from the beach at Pacific City  and I did not absolutely categorically get sea sick and that was a relief and we caught black rockfish and blues and lingcod and then we tried bucktailing for silvers and my gosh we got grabbed many times and sometimes even were able to watch the salmon take our flies just off the prop wash and those fish gave us spectacular leaps and runs deep into the backing and some were clipped and some were not so some came home to nourish us and some went swimming away to make their way in life just as we are and believe it for sure I ventured back into the Oregon Cascades for several days to fish for trout in clear cold freestone streams where there are only wild cutthroat and rainbow and the occasional Northern Pike minnow which is the new politically correct for the fish I grew up knowing by another namebut remembered that spring chinook once upon a time before white man built the great dams on the Willamette used to make a migration from the ocean all the way into the cascades near Oakridge but now they are but ghosts and I think it is wonderful that now the government that built the dams is trying to restore spring chinook runs above the dams but in my heart i think it is a false hope and will spend millions upon many more millions of precious dollars to maybe bring a handful of fish to a place where thaey simply cannot exist any longer in any meaningful number but in the meantime the government which by the way is still  probably the best on the earth with all of the weakness and sadly yes corruption and conflicts of interest that still and may always exist as long as men and women create government where was i oh yes the effort to bring springers back to the upper Willamette is more a case of delaying facing the finality of what harm we have done to the runs and the river and yes i had some wonderful fishing for chrome bellied blue backed sea run cutthroat and what with the estuary and the ocean I am ready to head waaaaaay out into the Pacific in search for tuna and I have an Echo 3 12 wt and a Burkheimer 12 wt fly rod all rigged int the garage ready to go and still hope to do that soon and get back out to chase silvers and kings in the ocean with a fly and I have tied up some amazing for me tube clousers from about 3 inches to maybe 8 inches and I am ready for most anything and how could I have forgotten to mention well it is actually surpgising that I managed to mention anything important because of the rambling nature of this post and my freshman year high school teacher carrie miller would not like this long run on sentence but I think or hope that she would understand the nature of what I am attempting to accomplish and cut me some slack and please excuse the madness of this post but it has been so very long and when I have been writing it has been for work or for the Oregon Fly Fishing Blog and for the Caddis Fly and so there has been this choice of will I do a blog post for fishingwithjay or will I go fishing or tie some flies or spend time with my family or tidy the garage or go to a movie by the way Source Code is a great sci fi movie and well worth seeing as is Super Eight but the final i hope it is final Transformers movie was absolutely worthless and Skyline made me want the aliens to kill off the human race and if the previous phrase gets flagged by the office of homeland security honestly I am just speaking in the figurative sense because the characters in that movie were so unlikeable and the movie so unpleasant that I simply rebelled and wanted the entire thing to end and I hated the movie but last year District 9 was a stunning sci fi movie that everyone should see ok not everyone because there are some unpleasant violent scenes but wow did it make me think and cowboys and aliens was at least entertaining but i am so looking forward to the battleship movie that is scheduled for next spring and oh my gosh i have not even mentioned how fast our kittens have grown and how my diet died and i gained back all the weight i lost after my heart surgery and now i need to get back into the healthy mode but it will be difficult with so much to do and fishing season yes one more fishing season about to start and a great part time job and my loving family and a few flies to tie and tuna to catch and maybe a few fall chinook and cracking the code ha ha ha ha for flyfishing silvers in Tillamook bay and now we need to get out the door to go do a little family archery and i have a ton of photos to post from the summer and I just looked at Jackson again and where was I this year when he grew about two feet taller and his voice is dropping steadily and he is so wise for a twelve year old and how could i be so lucky to be loved by my family and my son David is doing really well and I am so honored that they all put up with me so i will close with a plea to my friends to forgive my hectic emails and my neglect and my scatterbrained antics but Jay is after all Jay no more or no less than an enigma….

August 22, 2011

Jay Nicholas


Thanks folks.  Thank you friends and fellow fishing crazies and families and friends of fishing crazies and people who have so much inside their heads and hearts that they just can not express and all the people who have been deeply hurt but survived anyway with the scars and don’t even care to talk or write about the hurt because mostly no one will understand or care because they have not experienced  the hurt themselves and to all the old men who fougnt in WW II and Korea and Vietnam and the young men and women who have fought in other parts of the world and are among the forgotten wounded in so many ways and who deserve to be loved and hugged and treated well and oh my where on earth did this come from oh yes I know very well where this came from but let’s close here with my very best wishes and hugs and hopes for a wonderful salmon season this fall starting right now.

Jay Nicholas