Jay Nicholas’ Fly fishing glossary, February 16, 2011
Not done yet, hope ya can stand it. These are real questions transmitted over the etherial flux of the Internet, really.
Q: What is a “killer” Steelhead fly?
- See Top 10 summer steelhead flies; Top 10 winter steelhead flies; Top 10 steelhead nymphs; Top 10 Chinook salmon flies; secret steelhead fly; Hickman’s Fish Taco.
Q: What is the best size fly for steelhead?
- The best winter and summer steelhead hook size is #4, 6, 2, 8, 1.5, 3, 5, 8, 1, 10; in that order; unless in a different order.
Q: What are the “secret” winter steelhead fly patterns?
A: This is an elusive concept. Urban legend holds that actual secret fly patterns exist and that said flies possess supernatural fish-catching properties. I, personally, have seen several such secret fly patterns. These most holy holies were shown to me furtively, upon threat of dire consequences should I ever disclose these sacred secret flies to the Blogosphere. Here is what I saw, held preciously in the hands of wild eyed, unshaven, frizzy haired, Simms under-wader pants-wearing, fly fisher-tyers. Are you ready to hear the names of secret fly patterns? Here goes. Bucktail Royal Coachman. Burlap. Green Butt Skunk. Silver Hilton. Egg Sucking Leech. Flame Boss. So much for secret fly patterns.
Q: How should one fish a steelhead fly?
- Cast said fly, perhaps a secret killer fly pattern, upon the waters to soak and swim. Simple as that.
Q: How should one properly fish a fly for Oregon Chinook salmon?
- Purchase thirty-three thousand dollars worth of fly fishing tackle, not including SUV, pram, driftboat, jet sled, electric motors, outboards, and fish finder GPS units. Drive to Eugene, Oregon. Find nice hotel overlooking Middle fork Willamette, aka “The Town Run.” Spend one week fishing for hatchery summer steelhead during mornings and evenings. Spend mid-day holed up in local coffee house blogging about fishing on the coast. Record fishing action in photos of summer steelhead. Take photos to expert in use of Adobe Photoshop. Pay two thousand bucks to creatively morph photos of steelhead and view of Valley River Center Shopping Mall into pastoral coastal estuaries with gleaming king salmon. Blog some more about the habits of Chinook and how many you catch and what flies you use, making creative use of imagery borrowed from people who fish in Alaska and a variety of untrue factoids. Upon completion of blog binge, go to Montana and fish #32 Griffith Gnats for seven-pound rainbows. Repeat formerly described actions.
Q: Where is the best steelhead and salmon fishing in Oregon?
- As if we would ever give up the best fishing locations to the the Blogosphere. As if we actually knew where the best places to fish for steelhead and salmon are. As if? Hah!
Jay Nicholas, February 17, 2011