Thirty Revelations from Nicholas’ 2010 Salmon Season (#2-30)

In case you don’t remember (why would you remember?) I said recently that I would share ten or so revelations from my 2010 salmon season. That post included an introduction and the first of the “ten” season’s revelations.

I continued trying to figure out what, if anything, I had learned throughout the year. and Before I knew it there were thirty notes on my list. So instead of drawing this “revelation” thing out forever, I just decided to blurt out all this wisdom (ha ha) in one session.

Here ya go.

Revelation 2:  I have issues with caffeine, in addition to fly fishing and fly tying.

Revelation 3: Friends don’t let friends start fly fishing for Chinook.

Revelation 4: Silvers? What silvers?  Where?  Huh?

Revelation 5:  Friends don’t let heart-attack survivors eat deep-fried everything at the coast for a week straight.  This applies to missing trips to the gym.  This includes multiple road-trips and eating cookies from the coffee kiosk at 5 AM.  And French fries from Denny’s.  And venison sausage.  And “just one bag” of Lay’s Potato Chips.

Revelation 6:  Never brave T-Bay in a 50 knot gale without wearing an actual life jacket.

Revelation 7:  Loud-mouth, drunk anglers are annoying people.

Revelation 7 (a):  Every loud-mouth drunk fishing for salmon on the coast has been fishing in the Nestucca, the Alsea, The Trask, The Elk, or whatever river, for at least fifty years and therefore has the right to behave in an outrageously uncourteous manner.

Revelation 8:  One should carefully evaluate the frequency of  30′ sneaker waves when preparing to make a run around the bluff at Elk River.

Revelation 9: The presence of 20-30′ swells usually means that the salmon fishing at the mouth of the Elk will suck anyway.

Revelation 10:  don’t book a reservation at the Shoreline when there are vacancies at Battle Rock.

Revelation 11: don’t admit to any salmon you might have caught to your shuttle driver, because “loose lips sink ships.”

Revelation 12:  Always ask your shuttle driver how the fishing has been on the drift you are planning to make.  The information, if any, provided by the shuttle driver must be evaluated to determine if it is accurate, refers to the current year or decade, or is intended to obfuscate your fishing intuition.  Ask anyway.

Revelation 13:  People who fly fish for Chinook in Oregon are sneaky.  Duh.

Revelation 14:  Chrome, fresh-from-the-salt Kings might not be in the mood to eat.

Revelation 15:  After 3 months double hauling shooting heads, time on the river swinging a fly with a two-hander sounds really appealing.

Revelation 15 (a):  I thought I would be able to take four months-off from fly fishing and save up credits to use during 2011 Salmon Season, but I have zero credits accumulated so far and am already plotting about how to get a few days on the water this winter and making two trips to BC in 2011.

Revelation 16:  Fly-fishing braggarts are soooooooo annoying.  (braggart: a loud arrogant boaster; one who talks immodestly or with excessive pride (earned or imaginary) about his or her past and current angling exploits).

Revelation 16 (a):  I have never met a lady fly-fishing Braggart.

Revelation 17:  Several salmon-fishing drunks are less annoying than  one fly-fishing braggart.

Revelation 17 (a):  Fly-fishing braggarts have caught so many thousands of chrome, monster Chinook salmon over the last forty or fifty years that it is clearly not worth their time to be fishing next to me, in whatever river we happened to be fishing on any given day I have met these fellows because we have caught nothing whatsoever on the day in question and it should have been a fish on every cast and ……….

Revelation 18: Harbor seals eat Chinook.  Regularly.  The Chinook we catch are often wearing fresh scars from close encounters with seals, scuff marks on their heads from hiding in brush piles, and (different topic) mostly healed-over hook-scars obtained in an ocean fishery.

Revelation 18 (a):  Chinook in a large estuary pool will still grab a fly, on occasion, even if a seal is somewhere in the pool.  Chinook in a small estuary pool have only one thing on their pea-brains – getting away from the seal.

Revelation 19: The world I see on the water is far more beautiful than my camera can ever record.

Revelation 20: People who fly fish for Kings with flies are sneaky.  This is not an accidental duplicate entry.  Google “Sneaky Pete”.  Ask Rob.

Revelation 21: I am pretty much drained, running on empty,  depleted of Comet and Boss flies to fish during 2011.  My friends will have to sharpen whatever rusty hooks they have left-over from past years donations.  2011 is gonna be slim for spare flies.  Deal with it.

Revelation 22:  I may sell my Pram.  Ouch.

Revelation 23:  I don’t know when to say when, most of the time. Duh.

Revelation 24:  Floating fly lines are vastly under-appreciated by estuary and tidewater salmon fishers.

Revelation 25:  Big Kings eat small flies.

Revelation 26:  At least a third of what I thought I understood about retrieve-speed when fishing for kings was horribly mis-guided.  Everything new I have learned about retrieve speed will probably not apply to 2011.  Salmon braggarts always know the correct retrieve speed to entice Chinook to the fly.

Revelation 27: Unquestionably, less is more when it comes to actually catching Chinook on a fly.

Revelation 27 (a):  Apparently, more is the only way to go when it comes to fly fishing for Chinook salmon.

Revelation 28: There is still a wilderness of un-explored or under-explored opportunity to fly fish for Chinook in Oregon bays.

Revelation 29:  We only have a little time here on this world, in this plane of existence, and shortly, any sign of our presence here will be washed away by the tide.

Revelation 30:  I hope my family understands that I really do love each of them more than I love salmon fishing even though it might not seem like that during salmon season which is pretty much all but few weeks each year.  I hope my fiends understand that my neglect is the consequence of a genetic predisposition to pay more attention to fly fishing and fly tying and salmon and steelhead and sea run cutthroat than to anything else.

Jay Nicholas; December 11, 2010

10 thoughts on “Thirty Revelations from Nicholas’ 2010 Salmon Season (#2-30)

    1. Rich: looking forward to seeing you on the river; heard you rocked the “salmos” last summer/fall. Trying to save credits to get after the sea-runs with you next summer! Best to you & Kathy. JN

  1. Nice work, I feel better after reading your work, as i realize others have a similar or worse problem with chrome, hooks, feathers and fur. Ktok countdown, tick tock…..

    Sanders

    1. Funny you should mention “that” place. I was just writing about it, a place I have never fished; dreaming about the river; tying Ktok king Intruders, or what I imagine a King might eat up there; thinking about T-17 tips; wonderng if I have enough backing; and yes I need to order a new two-hander, and ….
      JN

      1. Jay,

        With your sickness, it may be just annual dose you need. You will be curious to see and feel what we have most certainly lost down here in Oregon. It makes me want to fight harder to get it back. I do no have the priveledge of knowing you, but I am learning that you have given a great amount to salmon restoration etc… And thats f…ing awesome.

        SN

    1. Perhaps a good idea, however some character traits, on some people, especially on my friends, are not annoying at all; in fact they are quite endearing. JN

  2. I was wondering when you were going to post the big boy. That fish’s charisma sure comes through in the photo! The look on his face says “I can’t believe I was beat by a little 9-weight!”

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